


so long as we get somewhere

by sylveonimbus (cloud_sakura)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, implied kagehi if you squint and look sideways at a 90 degree angle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:11:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloud_sakura/pseuds/sylveonimbus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>karasuno has a crossdressing maid cafe. kuroo is thirsty for d(aichi) and the latter is not really as oblivious as people make him out to be. also, haunted clubrooms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so long as we get somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> title inspired from alice in wonderland. random references abound. this is femi’s and effie’s fault and i’m not sorry. the o-word is okama, and I took that particular inspiration from kuroko no basket, because assholes like hyuuga junpei exist everywhere, even in the haikyuu universe probably. also trans boy Akaashi ftw but he’d get in trouble if he punched that kid himself. he has the best friends, though.

_“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"_

_"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."_

_"I don't much care where –"_

_"Then it doesn't matter which way you go.”_

Alice in Wonderland, a conversation between Alice and the Cheshire Cat.

***

“Hey, Sawamura, what’s your kind of date?” Kuroo asks, one day in the middle of summer, right after the first lap of flying falls Karasuno has finished. It’s a ten minute break, right between the next match Nekoma is going to have with Fukurodani and Ubugawa against Karasuno, so this is possibly the last question Daichi expects from Nekoma’s captain. Not only is it off-topic, it’s also kinda irreverent.

(Volleyball courts are holy ground, so sue him.)

“Tall. Knows how to play volleyball. Persistent, probably.” He aims a sharp look at Kuroo, who looks a little stunned. “What?”

“I honestly thought you were going to just say match dates,” he says seriously, and Inuoka bursts out laughing, having heard the conversation as he was passing by. Daichi’s face burns in irritated embarrassment. “That’s good information to have, however.”

“What about you, senpai?” Inuoka asks brightly, and Kuroo cocks his head to the side like he’s in deep thought. Daichi waits for the answer, not really sure why he’s even bothering.

“Probably tour dates,” he finally says. “I haven’t been to a concert in a while.” Inuoka is literally holding his stomach as he bends over, laughing like a hyena. People are beginning to stare in their direction.

“You’re entirely mad,” Daichi says, unimpressed. Kuroo smiles that lazy smile Daichi’s come to associate with him as his pleased ( _flirty?_ ) grin.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” he says conspiratorially, right into his ear, as the bell rings and Inuoka bounds away at Taketora’s call, everyone starting to assemble on the courts. “All the best people are.”

***

When Daichi was in middle school they all had to read Alice in Wonderland for their English class, and he distinctly remembers thinking how absurd the idea of a grinning cat was. He'd spent five weeks searching every street corner on the way back from school pointing out every single kitten he saw and none of them could even smile. Ikejiri had thought he was crazy.

"What's the _point_ ," he had asked, nonplussed, when Daichi had picked up a particularly violent-looking cat, only to get scratched in the face and drop it with a yelp, watching it scurry away into the darkness of the alley.

"Scientific evidence," Daichi had said importantly. "That was the ninety-ninth one. One more and I'll have proof that cats do not grin."

(It had been his Ace Attorney phase, okay.)

"...please tell me that's not what you're submitting as your English project," Ikejiri had said, before pointing to his face. "Uh, you're kinda bleeding."

That had been the cue to kind of give up on that particular experiment (Daichi is proud to note, however, that he got a B for creativity on that particular essay) and he regrets the fact that his thirteen year old self never actually got to the 100th cat. Then he might not have been facing this situation now. 

(Yes, perhaps that does not make sense, but neither does Alice in Wonderland; and scientific evidence allows for the possibility of one (1) anomaly in a 99% accurate scenario –) 

–  Which is what Daichi should have taken into consideration before he met Kuroo Tetsurou on a fine day in spring, smiling at him with the truest fake smile he ever saw on a person's face. Daichi could already see a signpost in his head in that moment, _Lessons in smiling from the Cheshire Cat!!! 100 yen and a bit of your soul per visit, please visit again!_

He had changed his mind about the bit of a soul after the training camp, because god knew that Kuroo was at least half the reason Tsukishima had improved in his blocks and had motivation for it. The only reason he's jealous, no envious, is because he hadn't been able to do the same, as a captain.

_(“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over that, Sawamura.” The usual Cheshire grin is aimed at him, and Daichi feels like he’s seeing something very rare. “He’s a fucking asshole, and I’m really not sure how you put up with him.”_

_“Hey, don’t badmouth my junior,” he’d said, and Kuroo had snorted. “Tsukki would call it a compliment.”_

_“Tsukki, huh. Sounds like you’re pretty close.” His heart does a weird thing in his chest at the thought, and he dismisses it instantly because he’s pretty sure it’s because Yamaguchi has a glaringly obvious hero-worship crush on Tsukishima. That’s really it._

_“Nah, I just do that to piss him off.” Kuroo’s tune had gone strange, a glint appearing in his eyes. “Oho, what’s this, Sawamura, do you want a nickname too?”_

_“It offends me that I don’t piss you off as much as Tsukishima does, yeah,” he had replied in a deadpan voice, and Kuroo had thrown his head back and laughed._ ) __

In this particular moment, however, he thinks his former assessment of the Nekoma captain was absolutely correct.

It is complete, unadulterated chaos in the gym, which is decorated like the rest of the school with ribbons and balloons, and has the additional decoration of the huge banner proclaiming it the _Karasu Maid Café_ with a tiny crow and a serving tray (design and make courtesy of the enterprising Yachi Hitoka and Kiyoko Shimizu). Daichi is trying to keep his temper and failing miserably, because not only have the basketball team dropped by to admire his best friends'...figures (honestly, he didn't really know the appeal of girls in suits until Yui donned one, and Suga was...well, Suga. even in a maid outfit. _Especially_ in a maid outfit, if the red-faced boys who were trying their best to not look at him or any of the others was any indication), he’s also been running himself ragged in three-inch heels and a corset dress trying to serve the amount of people who have turned up for this. On top of all of this, Hinata's improved hand-eye-feet coordination apparently meant batshit in face of balancing trays or when he was wearing heels, and Kageyama is still deliberately avoiding talking to Hinata altogether after he tripped over him talking to Kenma and sent a cake trolley flying into the wall.

Yes, Kozume, as in Kozume Kenma. because somehow (Daichi suspects Facebook, since Kuroo had mentioned a page) the entirety of Nekoma had gotten wind of the crossdressing maid cafe that the Karasuno volleyball clubs were putting up as a fundraiser for the winter festival.

Which meant that not only was the entirety of the Nekoma volleyball club was crowded into the gym, but also _Kuroo fucking Tetsurou_ was grinning up at him from the table he was sitting at, after specifically asking for his services.

_("My **services**." Daichi had stared. "He said that?"_

_Suga had done a flourish of his hand. "A maid's gotta do what they gotta do."_

_Noya had chosen that particular moment to break a plate. being relegated to baking duties along with Asahi was either a curse or a blessing, and Daichi was forced to admit it was the latter, because he could hear strangled noises coming from Lev outside after a metallic noise which meant he'd probably overturned a chair, which meant that Daichi actually had to go and inspect the extent of the chaos.)_

Now, Daichi has been in this uniform for two hours already. There have been comments over it, but not outright rude ones. The basketball team is an intolerable group of punks, but they know firsthand what his temper is like, and they're all convinced that Asahi belongs to the yakuza, so they avoid messing with the volleyball team. His other classmates all thought it was pretty funny, but they know better than to take pictures for blackmail. And they're all kind of straight, so Suga probably looks much better in their eyes anyway with his delicate features, or Kiyoko, who's stunning as ever in the butler uniform along with Yui.

Kuroo Tetsurou has broken every single rule he knew about straight eighteen year old boys ever since he socked someone from Shinzen in the jaw for calling Akaashi the o-word back at training camp; but even so Daichi does not expect the intent, searing gaze that starts from the top of his outfit, where it cuts off at where the cleavage is supposed to be, and right down to his waist, drawn tight in the corset-style upper garment, and then down the slightly flaring skirt and knee-highs and heels. Daichi's feet are not going to survive the ordeal of balancing with trays on his hand either, but suddenly he feels more conscious than ever, even as Kuroo's eyes start moving from the skirt to the top and rest appreciatively on his biceps.

_Is he checking me out? What the hell?_

"Kageyama, oiiii, what are you even doing?" Hinata yells in the background, and knocks into Daichi as he races past in his tiny, tiny boy shorts and puffed sleeves and apron, a tray of cakes in one hand. Daichi nearly drops the glass of water in his hand ("a complimentary service" Suga had explained), and while he salvages the glass, the apron, not so much. The thing is drenched, and he can feel his skirt sticking to his skin. The design of the outfit already means that it's pretty short at the back, and Daichi realizes in dim horror that the... _clinging_ means that his legs are defined against the fabric as the skirt hikes up his thighs.

Kuroo doesn't seem to _not_ appreciate the sight, and Daichi isn't sure whether he's reading too much into this or the other boy's gaze really is focused in extreme interest.

"You should probably change your apron," Kuroo says cheerfully, eyes never moving even once from his skirt and flowing apron. his legs automatically clamp together, and Daichi is going to strangle himself because Kuroo’s grin actually widens into the toothy one he knows and -

( _no, no, he absolutely does not like, nope, oh my god, Sawamura, pull yourself together, your skirt is see-through, which means he will **see**_ –)

"Your order, sir?" he says sweetly, turning around slightly to hide the after-effects of the laser gaze on him, his stress-induced headache building as he spies Lev trying to put one of the maid headbands on Yaku while the libero smacks Taketora on the head for ordering more than he can eat. Kuroo's lazy smile widens, completely ignoring the chaos in the background.

"Mmm, i wouldn't mind a better view," his gaze flickers to the window, (is his face red? No. Daichi's imagining things,) "But lemonade will do. For now."

"For now?" he has to ask, and Kuroo turns back to look him in the eyes. "Well, I hardly think a maid cafe is the proper place to have a talk over coffee."

Daichi's heart does not stop. It only stutters for a second, as it is wont to do sometimes during situations of stress. Nothing happens, really, Kuroo is still the obnoxious fake-smiling dumbass bastard from Nekoma. Also, he probably needs to stop sounding like Kageyama talking about Hinata, that boy is a bad influence.

"You know, captain to captain," Kuroo adds, when there's no answer, and his voice is suddenly subdued, the razor edge of something teasing completely vanishing from it. Daichi really looks at him then, and his shirt is actually really nice, instead of the stupid Nekoma hoodies he'd worn everywhere during camp, and he can't be sure but he thinks he smells cologne on him and his hair looks less messy than usual.

_What the hell is even going on?_

Kuroo chooses that exact moment to say, "Anyway, so would maid-sama please bring me a glass of lemonade?" and the moment is literally shattered as awkwardly as Hinata's yelling (which seems to have escalated in the background). Daichi can feel a tick in his forehead intensify. 

"Of course," he says formally, turning away and stomping over as best as he can to the table with the lemonade. Yamaguchi, who has the unfortunate duty of manning the table, looks absolutely terrified, but he makes no attempt to change his expression. He leans over to get the lemonade from the dispenser, grabbing a plastic cup from the pile, and he can feel the cold wind on his thighs, the ribbons of the too-long bow where it tickles him at the junction of stocking and skirt. More than anything, he can feel an uncomfortable prickling sensation on the back of his neck, the curve of his spine underneath the rapidly-more uncomfortable corset top. He turns around, stomping right back to the seat.

(When all this is over he is going to _burn_ this skirt.)

Kuroo's face is red, and he doesn't really understand why, but he ignores it as he sets the lemonade down on the table. There's silence for a moment in the middle of the screaming from two tables down right where Yachi is stuttering over a very pretty upperclassman who is arguing with her boyfriend and Yaku attempting to strangle Lev, having discovered the headband. Taketora and Tanaka are also, as evident from their conversation, bonding over Tanaka’s sexy skirt. (Daichi does not want to know. He really, really doesn’t want to know.)

"You look." Kuroo coughs, turning his face away as he picks up the lemonade. "You look very nice, Sawamura." He downs half the drink quickly, pointedly not meeting his eyes.

Daichi doesn’t know what the protocol in this situation is, if he's supposed to return the favour or not, but the, "you too," slips out without any warning; and he ignores the burning in his face as the other's eyes go wide in his face. "I'm. Um. Going to go now. Change my apron. Enjoy the lemonade!"

He flees the scene, pretending to ignore the intent eyes trained on his back and the screams of terror from Yachi as the upperclassman from earlier picks up a butter knife.

"You can do the dishes, if you want??" Asahi offers gently after he's been just standing in the corner of the room for five minutes, basking in the comparative heat of the room, and Daichi shakes his head, hand coming up to clutch his other bicep. The air is too cold for this stupid outfit, even with the heat of the entire crowd, and his slight panic (he doesn’t know what else to call it) hasn’t calmed down even after seeing Asahi’s ridiculous _Kiss the Cook_ apron, which means that his heart rate isn’t going down any time soon.

"I think I'm going to go change my skirt," Daichi says instead, ignoring Suga's knowing gaze as he picks up the tray of fresh cookies and dawdles there. "Suga, did you want something?"

"Oh no, I just thought you were going to change your apron so I came here to tell you where they are," he says in the most innocent, angelic tone known to mankind. Daichi literally gets the shivers for one second. "The drama club was kind enough to lend their classroom to us for today, since we're paying for some of their designed outfits, so they stored everything there."

“The haunted classroom. They’re using the haunted classroom?” Daichi is less than impressed, because this means that they’re deliberately trying to keep people away from that room.

“It’s a pretty big room.” Suga rummages in the pocket of his own cute pink apron, and brandishes the key at him. "Also, leave the door open, Kageyama said he needs to use it later." He winks at him before leaving, placing the key in his hand, and Asahi shrugs at him before Noya distracts him with another batch of dough.

Daichi gets the distinct feeling that he was just dismissed.

He doesn't even want to know what the club was thinking, designing these, but he figures that he doesn't want to know what Yachi or Kiyoko got up to while convincing the drama club girls to lend them the things. He nods once, shortly, and leaves through the other door of the makeshift kitchen/volleyball clubroom and walking across the corridor. He takes off his apron on the way, wincing at the filmy material dripping wet with the water. It hadn't been that obvious against his skirt, but up close it probably looked disgusting. He opens the door of the drama clubroom, leaving the key in the lock, and closes it behind him, looking up to see the room in the usual mess it’s been since the haunted rumours started. There’s a pile of unwashed costumes on one end that’s usually ever growing, and it’s grown at least a feet since Daichi saw it last week when Kiyoko had been pitching the idea for the maid cafe in the first place. The maid costumes are in a sack next to the two benches against the wall, and for the first time all day, Daichi feels immensely grateful that Tsukishima had called in sick and was unable to follow through with the maid outfits. He’s still convinced the boy just didn’t want to put those dresses on, but at least this means that there’s extras in the sack. He walks over and gets out a skirt that’s still pretty short on him (he doesn’t know how this was supposed to fit someone of Tsukishima’s size) and turns around to face the mirror on the other side of the room.

Daichi doesn’t see anything special in his reflection, nothing he doesn’t already see when he bathes at home. He knows he’s pretty muscular from his club activities, and he looks very, very much like a guy in a dress, so he has no idea what the other boy was talking about, not until he looks down at his skirt, and then groans out loud. The silk is absolutely hugging his thighs like some sort of dark aluminium foil, and this is the worst day of his life. His face burns, thinking of Kuroo watching him, watching his legs visible right through the soft, wet satin and silk, probably disgusted at how lewd his thighs look. the water has seeped through and permeated the tops of his stockings as well, and Daichi needs to take all of this off and change out and erase this entire incident from his memory. Kuroo is a decent guy, he’s not going to hold this against him, and definitely not talk about the semi that Daichi’s sporting at the moment. He rubs his face with one hand, trying to not let it get to him (he looks like a middle-aged man when he cries, and he really wants to avoid that at the moment) as he shuffles out of his skirt, avoiding looking at the mirror as much as possible. This is awful, this entire business is awful, and he needs to get back to the gym as soon as possible.

He’s got his new skirt and apron on and is attempting to tug the ribbons together behind his back when the door opens. He starts, and then reckons it’s just Suga, remembering he forgot to take the key out. “Oh good, you should come and help me with this damn thing.” He holds out the ribbons, not bothering to turn his back.

The hair that appears behind him in the mirror and the hands that alight on his, however, are bigger than Suga’s, and calloused even more than his. He’s shaken these hands before, from the other side of a net. Daichi freezes up completely.

“So this is what Sugawara meant when he said that, huh,” Kuroo Tetsurou says, wondering face visible very, very clearly in the mirror, and Daichi’s neck goes absolutely stiff at the breath over his ear. “Said _what?_ ”

“Nothing,” Kuroo says promptly, and takes the ribbons from Daichi’s frozen fingers, expertly knotting the thin satin behind him. Daichi thinks he’s stopped breathing again and then realizes that it’s just his diaphragm. Whatever the organs are called. He’s not quite thinking right in this moment. “Too tight.” His hand clamps down on Kuroo’s, and the taller boy mutters a quiet, almost reverent, “sorry,” hands loosening the ridiculous bow, and Daichi has had it with the gentle touches on his waist and hands, the soft breath on his ear and his rapidly heating body – 

“Stop that,” he snaps.

“Do you want me to?” Kuroo says back, in the lowest voice he’s ever heard from the other boy, pressing against him in his tight new skirt, and honestly, Daichi has waited long enough.

So he pulls away, whirling around, and gets one good look at Kuroo’s bewildered face before he kisses him.

It would be more appropriate to say that he attempts to kiss him, because Daichi’s lips land in the vicinity of Kuroo’s neck, teeth jabbing into his jugular, and before he can apologize and bury himself underneath the sea of clothes in the clubroom forever, Kuroo actually _groans_ and tips his head back. He grabs on to Daichi’s head and tugs at his hair, and backs away into a wall taking Daichi along with him.

“This is _unexpected_ , Sawamura,” he says in his silkiest voice, and Daichi mutters out a “shut the _fuck_ up,” before his lips are on him again, and this time it’s a proper kiss.

Daichi has kissed people before, of course, but it’s at least been two years since his last girlfriend (who had broken up with him because of the time he devoted to club activities), which means that Kuroo probably (most definitely) has the upper hand. Daichi isn’t going to give up, however, and he cards his fingers through his hair, pleased to find that the heels from hell are apparently useful in the fact that he doesn’t need to pull Kuroo down to his height to kiss the living daylights out of him. Kuroo isn’t particularly struggling, and the pressing, drowning feeling in his chest is suddenly lightening up. He doesn’t want to read too much into it, he really, _really_ doesn’t, but it’s obvious that Kuroo actually wants him, even if it’s because of the fucking maid costume –

“Fuck, Sawamura, you’re so _hot_ ,” Kuroo breathes right into his right ear, teeth catching on the tender skin of his earlobe, and Daichi feels like he’s going to catch on fire any second as the taller boy licks around the appendage and then bites down.

“OW, fuck, stop that,” he hisses at him, trying to stay upright on his stupid heels, and Kuroo honest-to-god smirks before Daichi feels a hand snaking up his skirt. “ _Kuroo!_ ”

“Your were the one who dragged me into this,” he points out, before squeezing down, and choosing that exact moment to brush up a knee against the front of his skirt. Daichi actually sees white for a second, gasping as his knees buckle and finally give out, and two strong hands are suddenly holding his hips, breaking his fall as Kuroo himself slides down the wall and brings Daichi down with him. The motion causes Daichi’s hand to slip and press down on Kuroo’s pants, and Daichi is not getting tired of that deep groan anytime soon.

“That’s disappointing,” he murmurs, and Daichi draws back to glare at him warily. “What?”

“You’re not wearing lace underwear.” Kuroo says, and Daichi suddenly feels the loosened string of the corset top, hands creeping up his chest. His irritation builds when he realizes that he hasn’t even attempted to undress Kuroo, and proceeds to unbutton the shirt. Kuroo indulges him for all of five buttons before he’s sitting up properly, propping Daichi in his lap, and there’s a tongue prodding at Daichi’s lips. He shudders when he parts his lips in surprise, letting Kuroo bring up his other hand to cup his face as he slides his tongue against his and then the roof of his mouth, bending his head to reach deeper. Daichi’s cock is literally stretching out his underwear at this moment in an almost painful way, and Kuroo stops clutching at his chest through his stupid corset and finally, finally lifts his stupid skirt to press against it. He clutches Kuroo’s (very, very nice) shoulders, and most definitely does not whimper into his mouth.

Kuroo backs away, eyes a little wild and more catlike than ever, hand falling away from his face to rest on the nape of his neck. “Uh. I’m not actually. _Doyouwantmetoblowyou_.”

Daichi’s jaw drops open (or it would, if he wasn’t already gasping from the kiss) and he sputters. “I’m. Isn’t that. That isn’t safe, right –”

“I think I have like, a condom in my wallet –”

There’s a mad scramble to find Kuroo’s wallet first, and Daichi snorts when it slips out of Kuroo’s hand and into his. He knows how to put this thing on. He thinks.

( _The captains had all been sitting in a circle after Karasuno has finished the flying falls and hill runs for today, on the one day that Ubugawa had beaten all of them in a row, and the Shinzen captain had been less than unimpressed once Kuroo had taken another jab at him about his long-distance girlfriend. “It’s funny, I swear I heard you tell Setter-kun that you were definitely not a virgin in the showers yesterday, and I’m pretty sure you’ve never even been to Hokkaido since you practice with us pretty regularly, huh...”_

_“You’re going to make him mad, Tetsu,” Bokuto had said in a bored voice, as the aforementioned captain puffed up indignantly and got up to leave. Daichi attempts to mend the situation, but the boy is already walking away. He glances at Bokuto, who shrugs. “Leave it, bro, he’s always like this.”_

_“Well, not everyone gets as much action as you do, it’s a fact of life,” Kuroo had said brightly, and Bokuto had turned beet-red and smacked his shoulder, making him punch him in the side as he rolled over, groaning in pain. Bokuto had joined him a second later._

_“He’s killed me,” Bokuto had gasped, as Akaashi came to stand over all three of them, looking unimpressed. Daichi had shrugged at the exasperated Fukurodani setter, even as his ace declared that his setter “will take revenge for this betrayal!” to all and sundry, and Akaashi had picked him up and supported him on his arm before making their way back to the gym._

_“Why do you always do that whenever he’s involved?” Daichi asked, quirking an eyebrow. Kuroo had lain back on the grass, not replying at first._

_“Well, I didn’t see him stopping that asshole either,” is all Kuroo had said casually, before looking over at Daichi. Before Daichi can fully assess the meaning of the words, Kuroo’s smile turns teasing again. “Plus he was going to ask your manager out, and that’s not happening before I get to her first.”_

_“I’m...you know what, I’m not even going to bother, Shimizu can handle herself.” Daichi had prayed that Nishinoya or Tanaka didn’t get wind of what Kuroo is planning, because they’re going to blow it out of proportion._

_“Nah, I’m just going to ask her for a number.”_

_“Practice safe sex!” Bokuto had yelled at him from a distance, and Kuroo hd yelled back a “you too, asshole!” before turning to face Daichi, who’s pretty damn sure he was blushing in that moment. Those fucking Tokyo boys had no sense of propriety. “By all rights, I should kick your ass, you know?”_

_“Yeah, but you **like** me, Sawamura-kun.” Kuroo singsonged, and **Far too much,** Daichi had mused, signalling his downfall._

_“Besides, I promise to practice only safe and consensual sex,” Kuroo had added, and he had **choked**._ )

“Are you always this good at keeping promises?” he blurts, when Kuroo finally rips off the packet – without ripping the rubber in the process, he’s pleased to note – instead of voicing the numerous questions in his head that all go in a confused order of _I thought you liked Kiyoko? I thought you liked girls? So I wasn’t imagining all those times you smiled at me outside the gym and across the net and thought that was **genuine** and **flirty**_ –

“You should find out,” Kuroo shoots back in what Daichi supposes is his flirty voice, he’s heard it often enough before, even ten minutes ago back when he’d been asking for lemonade, and Daichi feels enormously stupid for not realizing it before.

“You’re terrible at this,” Daichi pauses as Kuroo suddenly flips them both over so that he’s the one pressed against the wall. It’s not an easy feat by any means, Daichi’s pretty heavy, so he’s surprised at the sudden show of strength, admiring the way Kuroo’s muscles flex under the shirt.

“You hurt my feelings Sawamura,” Kuroo whines, face pressing into the vicinity of his neck and down his collarbone again. He lifts one of Daichi’s legs and settles it around his waist, and then holds up the other, pushing the skirt out of the way. Daichi is aware that he probably looks very lewd like this, but hell, if it’s getting Kuroo to look at him in the way that he usually aims at the volleyball during a match, he really isn’t complaining.

“I meant,” the taller boy gasps when he finally gets his shirt open and paws at his chest, pressing down on his erect nipples, and Daichi almost smiles triumphantly until Kuroo squeezes his ass, _again_. “that you talk too much.” He chooses that moment to take off Daichi’s very ordinary boxers, and Daichi releases a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in.

“Yeah, we should kiss more,” Kuroo agrees, as he spits into his hand and then palms Daichi’s cock, leaning in to press kisses at the corner of his lips at the same time. Daichi’s expression catches between that of disgust and then the blessed, aching relief of friction as Kuroo slides his hand up and down. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s not my fault you jumped me when I didn’t have lubricant handy.”

“What the fuck is lubricant –” Daichi cuts off, eyes widening in shock when Kuroo (who has apparently stolen it back when he wasn’t noticing) rolls down the condom on him, and holds the skirt back against his chest. “Oh my god, you could have just taken off the skirt –”

“You really have no idea how hot you look in this, do you?” Kuroo’s head is at waist-level now, intently studying the cock in front of him, and he looks up just in time to see the blush on Daichi’s face intensify and travel right down his neck. He grabs the side of his hips, holding his legs apart and nearly tearing the delicate material of the stockings. Daichi realizes a bit too late that the garters have come loose because of the way he’d attached them to the boxers, and Kuroo is pawing at him through them like a man possessed. “I was pretty disappointed at the lack of lace underwear, though, I’m not lying.”

“You really talk too much,” he says, tugging at Kuroo’s hair when he licks at the place where the stockings have left him sensitive between his thighs, and Kuroo just _grins_.

“Guess we should fix that,” he says.

Daichi completely whites out for a moment, amd when he comes to again, Kuroo has half his dick in his mouth; and he’s probably going to die, because he’s _doing this thing with his tongue and why haven’t they done this before?_

_Shit, I said that out loud._

“It’s not like I didn’t offer before,” Kuroo quips back, taking his mouth off his dick, and Daichi nearly takes a fistful of hair out in irritation. The other boy doesn’t seem to mind, if the way he literally grinds down on Daichi’s leg trapped under him is any indication, and gets his mouth back on him. He’s definitely not an expert, which is actually a relief in some way Daichi really doesn’t want to analyze right now, but he knows enough to make his toes curl and his nipples rub themselves raw against the loose corset top as his chest heaves. He thought a condom was supposed to take away the sensation, but if Kuroo’s this good with it on –

Kuroo finally, finally manages to get the entirety of the cock inside his mouth, his very, _very_ pink lips stretching around it, looking up with hooded eyes under dark, _dark_ messy hair, and begins to move. His eyes never stray from Daichi’s face, and his pace gets faster and deeper, almost hitting the back of his throat. He’s enjoying this, Daichi grasps, and his brain provides a vivid image of what his face would look like streaked with come (dripping with it, across the bridge of his straight patrician nose and on his smooth cheeks and his _lips_ ). He doesn’t even have time to warn Kuroo before he’s tugging him down, biting out a stuttered “Kuroo, _shit_ ,” and thrusting up into his mouth. His vision whites out again, and he falls back against the wall, every single bone in his body turning to some form of disgusting jelly.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but when he comes to, he finds himself leaning half against the wall, and half ensconced in the arms of a suddenly extremely affectionate Nekoma middle blocker, if the awkward (soft) butterfly kisses being pressed onto his face and hair are any indication. The condom on his cock is also gone, and Daichi sincerely hopes that Kuroo has discarded it in a dustbin or something and not in the mess of clothes around them.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Kuroo says, and the bastard sounds as smug as anything, and Daichi has really, really got to make him drop the expression because it blatantly reeks of _I fucked Karasuno’s esteemed captain in his maid outfit a classroom! Ask me how!_

“Quit the tutorial face,” Daichi grumbles, voice still raw, and immediately regrets it, because Kuroo’s puzzled face is much more adorable than his smug one. He turns his head to face the door – which is still closed, thank god, and then feels the hardness pressed against his knee which makes Kuroo inhale sharply when he tries to extricate his leg from underneath him.

 _Interesting._ “You still haven’t come.”

“I’ll manage,” Kuroo dismisses hurriedly, but Daichi can feel the arousal still thick on his face, can see the curve of his Adam’s apple as it bobs. He begins to twist in his arms.

“Not a cuddler, huh, Sawamura,” Kuroo begins, and then stops when Daichi gets on his knees and presses his hands against the wall, refusing to look over his shoulder. “What are you _doing?_ ” At any other moment he would have laughed at the panic in his voice, but he’s really trying to not panic himself so it’s out of the question.

“Get on with it before someone comes in here, maybe?” he says, hoping Kuroo doesn’t catch the crack in his voice at the end, and clamps his thighs together, hoping he’ll get the hint.

(he’s seen this in the few AVs he’s watched, but he’d never imagined that he’d be in this position, top coming loose and nearly falling away from his chest as he bends over and dares not look over at the boy behind him while they’re on the dirty floor of a school clubroom)

“You’re always...surprising me, Sawamura,” he hears mumbled behind him, and then sweating hands are gripping his thighs, hiking his skirt up, and Daichi remembers too late that he’s taken off his boxers. He closes his eyes and prays for courage when he hears the sound of a zipper and shuffling pants.

“Calm down.” The voice is as amused as it is concerned, and Daichi bites back any retorts, focusing instead on the slide of a dick against his thighs. He parts them the slightest bit, and Kuroo shoves them together again. This is a lot less hot and a lot more embarrassing than he had pictured, and maybe it’s because he’s on the receiving end. Kuroo holds up one of his hands, twining them with Daichi’s against the wall, which doesn’t help the embarrassment. He presses his face against the wall, cooling his burning cheek on the plaster, and opens his eyes when Kuroo’s teeth graze the back of his neck. He hadn’t even known it was a sensitive spot, but he’s rapidly getting harder again. _Shit._

“Sawamura...fuck, I need to...” he bites down again, and Daichi shudders all over. Make that _really_ sensitive. Kuroo’s cock grazes under his balls and slides against his own rapidly-hardening one, and he’s not going to last either, is he. “I’ve always – really, really liked –”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, and Daichi barely gets to think about how vulgar he looks in this position and how much Kuroo seems to be enjoying it before he’s coming in spurts, and Daichi reaches down a trembling hand and helps him through it, coaxing the orgasm out of him with whatever strength is returning to his arms. He’s pleased to note that he has put on another condom (unless he reused that old one, which Daichi thinks he’s probably not dumb enough to do, and he really isn’t thinking straight at all is he), and when Kuroo collapses against his back, half holding himself up with the hand that’s still warm against Daichi’s on the wall, he doesn’t even grumble. Much.

“You’re kind of heavy,” he says, amused when Kuroo groans out something about being “sooooo good,” and rests his head on his shoulder. His messy hair tickles Daichi’s jaw, and he needs to see a heart specialist because fluttery feelings for someone who literally just fucked your thighs into the wall aren’t normal by any standards, as far as he is aware.

“So are you,” Kuroo snipes, and then actually nuzzles his neck. “I wanna sleep.”

“We can’t sleep, I need to go back to the cafe.”

“Not in these clothes, you won’t.” His tone is almost possessive, and Daichi stifles a laugh. “I’m not planning on, but I’m pretty sure there’s a spare uniform here.” He moves away, and Kuroo lets him get up and get his underwear. He’s pretty sure that he should be feeling more embarrassed, but it seems to have disappeared under the circumstances because Kuroo is a fucking nerd, and he wishes he’d remembered that sooner.

“Sawamura, you’re such a spoilsport,” Kuroo whines, and god, he should not feel fond. “Do you _want_ me to leave?”

“You can order stuff at our cafe, and for fuck’s sake, don’t fuck the server in our backroom later.” He puts on his boxers, still feeling Kuroo’s appreciative stare on his back, trying his best to not go wobbly, and fetches his heels, regretting the fact that he’ll have to wear them regardless. Kuroo’s eyes blatantly follow the descent of his skirt down his waist and he throws it in the unusable pile in the back of the room, watching it join the earlier one. The bag in front of him has a pair of tight shorts, and Daichi is seriously considering wearing those instead. At least he won’t be flashing his underwear that way.

“Only the bare-legged ones,” Kuroo says nonchalantly, and Daichi flushes as he takes off what remains of his stockings and puts on his heels.

“Are you just going to stand there?!” he finally bursts out, when he puts on his shorts and turns around to see the boy still leaning against the wall, pants only half-zipped and shirt un-tucked and messier than ever. The condom is hopefully resting inside the bin to the left of the room (or Daichi is going to kill him).

“Until you agree to a coffee with me, yeah.”

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, failing to hide a smile as he walks towards the door, sliding it open. He’s stopped by warm hands encircling his waist. “Kuroo, you can find better coffee in Tokyo, unless the Starbucks has closed down. Are you telling me you travelled four hours to have shitty powder coffee?”

“I travelled four hours to meet you in a maid dress, thank you very much,” he says shamelessly, and Daichi has to hand it to him, the boy is persistent, and that flattery is very appreciated.

“After my shift is over, if you can wait four hours.” He backs away, and pulls Kuroo up to him by his collar. “However, and this is going on the record: I don’t fuck on the first date.”

“It’s all right,” Kuroo says, leaning down and grinning against his lips. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

Daichi lets him, twining his arms around him and he wonders if they could have gotten here sooner, or if this was where they were heading either way.

***

( ** _22rd December_**

**_Unknown Number xxx-xxx-xxxx, 8:31 p.m._ **

_hey, what’s this about a maid cafe that y’all are doing? that page is a rickroll right?_

**_Sawamura <3, 8:40 p.m._ **

_1\. who are u_

_2\. tell me 1 reason i shouldn’t block u_

**_Unknown Number, 8:41 p.m._ **

_just a friendly cat!! :3_

_also that’s harsh wow i thought i was the blocker in this relationship_

**_Sawamura <3, 8:42 p.m._ **

_..kuroo, how did you get my number._

_also, what page?_

**_ass, 8:43 p.m._ **

_shimizu was willing to part with ur number, surprisingly enough._

_dw, that doesn’t mean i didn’t want it in the first place_

_do you even go online or are you actually as middle aged as you behave._

**_Sawamura <3, 8:44 p.m._ **

_wow, serious case of the sour grapes there._

_i only use youtube for matches ok_

**_ass, 8:44 p.m._ **

_nice._

_also, hey, i fought long and hard for those grapes ;)_

_you could almost call it_

_froot_

_of my labour_

**_Sawamura <3, 8:45 p.m._ **

_Did you just quote Marina at me?_

_Also, that emoji is suspicious. What did you do?_

**_ass, 8:46 p.m._ **

_success!! he finally uses proper grammar_

_i just convinced her of my deep and true feelings nothing too big_

_wbu r u gonna wear a dress_

**_Sawamura <3, 8:50 p.m._ **

_...I’m not going to dignify that with an answer._

**_pain in the ass, 8:51 p.m._ **

_oho?_

**_Sawamura <3, 8:53 p.m._ **

_What’s the point, are you going to make the entire journey here to ogle Kiyoko in a maid outfit?_

**_pain in the ass, 8:53 p.m._ **

_i’ll be ogling someone, all right._

**_[Sawamura <3 is offline.]_ **

**_pain in the ass, 8:54 p.m._ **

_and i’m going to ask that someone to coffee~~_

_maybe a tour date or two._ )

*******

**25th December**

**[1 new message from Suga]**

I still can’t believe you two had sex in the clubroom.

**Delete? Y/N.**

**Message deleted.**

**Daichi, 9:00 p.m.**

It’s been two days.

I’m never living this down, am I?

**Suga, 9:00 p.m.**

Nope! ^_^

You’ve already lived a lot. Down.

**Daichi, 9:01 p.m.**

GOODBYE.

**Epilogue**

**24th December**

––– 

**kubroo, 8:55 p.m.**

BRO IT’S HAPPENING

**brokuto, 8:55 p.m.**

BRO!!!!

**kubroo, 8:57 p.m.**

I’M FINLLY GETT IGN SOMEHWRE

**brokuto, 8:57 p.m.**

HAVE A HPPY MARR IED LIFE ADOPT SOME MORE CHICKS AND KITTE NS

AKAASHI SAYS CONG RA TS

**kubroo, 8:58 p.m.**

yOU’RE WITH HIM?!!Q

UR SHITTIN ME

**brokuto, 8:59 p.m.**

Have a safe journey back, Kuroo-san.

**kubroo, 9: 00 p.m.**

hOLY SHIT

**brokuto, 9: 01 p.m.**

^_^

**kubroo, 11: 22 p.m.**

bRO A SECOND DATE IS ON

ALSO TELL ME MORE

**brokuto, 11:23 p.m.**

Go to sleep, Kuroo-san.

**kubroo, 11:24 p.m.**

!!!! :’)

**brokuto, 11:25 p.m.**

iT ISN’T LIKE THT

**kubroo, 11:26 p.m.**

OHOHO?

**keiji <3 to bokuto-san, 11: 26 p.m.**

Please go to sleep before you put your foot in your mouth, Bokuto-san

**bokuto-san/brokuto to keiji <3, kubroo, 11:27 p.m.**

WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME FROM NEXT TO ME

...fuc

**kubroo, 11:28 p.m.**

IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS

–––

**Sawamura <333, 11:31 p.m.**

why is your snap story just you laughing manically

when the hell did you change your name in my contacts

also why didn’t you change the entire thing wtf

**pain in the ass <3, 11:32 p.m.**

would u rather it was the maid outfit? :3

it’s not like it isn’t true

literally.

**Sawamura <333, 11:33 p.m.**

NO.

...did you just make a fuckin pun

How did I agree to that second date

**pain in the ass <3, 11:34 p.m.**

i’ll buy you ointment!! promise!!

also, you stuck by me too long

and now ur stuck

officially though, i won u over

**Sawamura <333, 11:35 p.m.**

i’ll hold u to that.

...i can’t believe my middle school assignment was actually wrong.

**pain in the ass <3, 11:36 p.m. **

???

**Sawamura <333, 11:37 p.m.**

Also the next time you come over, remind me to show you the places around Miyagi.

You know. A tour date.

**pain in the ass <3, 11:38 p.m.**

I LOVE YOU

Next time I’ll show you the real Tokyo Skytree.

It’s not the steel tower you saw in Saitama btw

**Sawamura <333, 11:39 p.m.**

Fuck you, honestly.

**[1 message in Drafts]**

Scientific evidence says I love (erased) like you, too.

***

_“_ _...So long as I get somewhere.”_ __

_“Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, so maybe daichi didn’t really get over his ema skye phase. 
> 
> also, don’t be kuroo tetsurou, kids. blowing someone on the first date is not protocol. at least not in the changing room of a maid cafe. don’t be me and reread an entire book for what was supposed to be a tiny nsfw headcanon about kuroo blowing daichi in a maid outfit.
> 
> (i’d add “don’t kurodai” but if you’re here and reading this it’s probably too late for your soul. welcome to hell.)


End file.
